Clouded Glass

A mirror stands
in the corner
near this mattress

my deathbed
my lifecasket

Come late afternoon
the light crosses my fading body
and I am clearly reflected in that mirror

as invalid

every pore of me
leaks life
and stains that mirror

i am ugly
i am weak
i am disgusting
i am suffering

and yet I am still
me
and yet I am still
human

and with pain I recall
the life force
I’ve wasted
judging
reflecting
upon the leaks of other
humans

beholding
Delicate Villains
Stunted Assholes
Wounded Whores
beholden

to my hatred of them

as though my purpose
on this earth
was to be their mirror
as though I were
stained by them

now
come late afternoon
all that remains is this haunting image

Of the human who was right all along.

Fuck you, Steve, you fucking jerk.
Go to hell, Deborah.
I can’t believe you made me waste my energy hating you.
I blame you for this.